Lying and Deception in Our Personal Relationships

The Dark Side of Relationships There is no single person in this world who has never told a lie. No matter how big or small, direct or indirect, verbal or non-verbal; we all have told a lie. The problem with lying is most of the time your lies comes to light. Knapp and Vangelisiti state, â€Å"If acts of omission, exaggeration, vagueness, evasiveness, and substitution are all part of the act of lying, than everybody lies† (2006, p. 248). Whether you wore your sister’s dress, after she said no, only to have her come home with the dress in the dirty clothes and you tell her you did not wear it. Or you went out to eat with an ex-lover and told your partner you went with a friend, only for your partner to see that same friend at the gas station.†¦show more content†¦So, if lying will temporarily maintain the relationship, than most people will lie. In personal relationships, especially romantic, if you know a person well enough, you know what they can handle and w hat they can’t, so if telling the truth will damage the relationship, most people will lie. In fact, â€Å"the best predicator of relationship termination as a result of a discovered lie, is the perceived importance of information lied about†. This statement best applies to many romantic couples who are committed to their relationship with each other. In a study comparing strangers, friends and romantic partners, it showed the most lying occurs in romantic relationships (p.292). Buller and Burgoon (1994) defined deception as â€Å"intentionally managing verbal and/or nonverbal messages, so that a receiver will believe or understand something in a way that the sender knows is false† (as cited in Guerrero, Anderson, Afifi, 2007, p.293). Deception is never expected to happen in relationships. However, in many romantic relationships (as well as personal relationship) it happens with thought, until after. If relational communication â€Å"is about how communication affects the personal relationships we create, sustain, revise, and sometimes dismantle† (Wood, 2000, p.xix), than deception has to be a downfall in our relational communication when deception and lying occurs. There are five primary types of deception: lies, equivocations,Show MoreRelatedDeceiving is Believing Essay1032 Words   |  5 Pageswhite lie, a superficial lie, or a big lie, it will affect ones self and those around them. How does lying affect the intimacy of a relationship? Lying is by far one of the most delicate and damaging behaviors possible in a committed, cherished relationship. Some say that intimate relationships are based upon love, charm, or need, but trust is the foundation in any affectionate relationship. What is the ideal way to destroy trust? Tell lies. 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